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  • Myrtle the Goat

A Tale of Unrequited Love.....

Hi there humans!

Tracy our care provider and poo sweeper-upper has suggested to me that I need to Blog......whatever that is!?

As her keyboard is completely inadequate (and not fit for purpose if you have sizeable hoofs) I have had to rely on her limited capabilities on a P.C. As a result she has taken a little while (over a year in fact) putting this down on paper so I can only apologise. Anyway.....here it is.....

Back in December 2018 Tracy arrived at the stable, brush in hand, clippers at the ready. I found myself being petted, pampered and pedicured. She advised me that we were on our way up to Weston-super-Mare for another date night! My imagination running away with itself I could see the possibility of some handsome beast asking for my hoof in marriage.

After a short journey I was introduced to ‘Chipperfield’. He was everything I’d ever dreamed of...tall, muscular, blonde and with the most intoxicating aroma. He literally took my breath away...

Sadly, thereafter our ‘date’ took a bit of a downward turn. No chocolates, flowers, romance. To say that our liaison was brief is an understatement. Chips, as I affectionately like to remember him, didn’t even give a backward glance as he was hauled back to his stable.

It was about four months later that I noticed my expanding waistline. Admittedly I’d been feeling extraordinarily ravenous and there was a fleeting moment when I thought ‘Steady on girl, your consuming enough food to sustain 2 or 3 goats!’

Well it turns out that I was right as at approximately 04:30 on the 29th May my beautiful babies Mabel and Clarence put in an appearance.

It just so happened that Tracy had been sleeping up in the stable for the previous 5 nights so was on hand to assist. It’s almost as if she knew what was going to happen!

To be brutally honest she did get in the way and flap around it I managed to put her to good use fetching hot towels, water and special goat treats.

Sadly, there has been no contact from Chips since that chilly December day. His loss!!

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